Watching the movie (SPOOF, IT'S JUST A PRANK BRO)
by A fanfiction reviewer
Summary: WARNING: RATED M FOR ADULT LANGUAGE . Now that I've got that disclaimer out of the way, I will silently pray that Fanfiction doesn't terminate my account for what is in this story. SUMMARY: Watching the movie fanfics have been done so many times, it would be a crime to not have at least ONE story making fun of them. OFFENSIVE HUMOR!
1. Chapter 1

**It's Friday, my dudes.**

 **How are you all doing? Good, I'm sure. So, I was in school a while back, feeling like math was stabbing my soul to death with a rusty spoon, and I suddenly realized: is in trouble.**

 **Just kidding, there's still plenty of good fics out there. Jokes aside, stories are becoming less and less original, at least in the HTTYD department. Just look at this story as a prime example.**

 **Original stories are becoming hard to find, because people always do the same story, in different words. I'll be using the "Watching the movie" trend as an example.**

 **It was interesting the first ten times, but the following four hundred stories just became the same thing. I even found dialogue that had clearly been copied and pasted in some stories. Which, BTW, they will call it "adopted". This watching the movie story idea must be that orphan that smears it's shit on the walls, because every time someone adopts it, they go and bring it back to the orphanage of discontinued stories, letting somebody else take over.**

 **So I figured, during the process of eating the paste that we call, "Cafeteria food" I'd take a few stabs at the "Watching the movie" fanfics.**

 **But that's enough rambling, I really just made this authors note to tell you that this is all a big joke. If you actually take any of it seriously, you don't deserve to have internet connection. Now, let's get on to the story...**

* * *

 ** _/AN:_**

 ** _Hi guys! It's me, DragonXfucker123! This is my first fanfic, "Watching the movie", so plz dont flame :)_**

 ** _I bring the cast to my personal theater to show them HTTYD, and watch their reactions!_**

 ** _*Lawlz disclaimer: I don't own HTTYD, even though I wish so badly that I did. Please don't sue me for copyright infringement, Dreamworks*_**

 ** _/_**

It was high noon in Berk. Everyone was working their dicks off, repairing houses and boats, and carrying around crates.

Snotlout was hitting on Astrid. The twins were blowing things up. Fishlegs was reading. Hiccup was in the woods, cutting his wrists like a fucking loser, jamming to some Nine Inch Nails.

The day was perfectly normal. But then, a bright white light, serving as the obvious plot device, enveloped the whole village.

Everyone groaned awake, and found themselves in a lumina theater.

"Hi everyone!" said an upbeat girl in a black and red hoodie. "Wha? Who are you? Where are we? I DEMAND ANSWERZ!" Stoick, chief of the hairy butthole tribe, said.

"I'm DragonXfucker123, but you can just call me Raven-heart Shadowblade Xenochronicles milf the hedgehog." The girl said.

"Well, hello there, Raven-heart Shadowblade Xenochronicles milf the hedgehog, you looking hella fine..." Snotlout said like a total fuckboy.

"Ugh." DragonFucker groaned.

"Okay everyone, I brought you all here to watch this thing called a movie. It's like a moving picture. Oh, also, you guys are gonna have some company."

Generic villager #59 looked up, and saw, across the room, there was a bunch of dragons.

"Holy fuck-fiddle! Dragons!" He yelled, drawing his battle dildo. Since we all know that Vikings were completely retarded, and lacked any cognitive thinking whatsoever, the villagers charged at the dragons, weapons in hand.

"Ugh" DragonFucker said, before snapping her fingers, creating an impenetrable, edgy, black and red barrier using black fucking magic. All the Vikings smashed into the force field.

"Guys, I just set up a magical wall that only Hiccup and I can cross. I also magically teleported all of your weapons away." DragonFucker said. She snapped her fingers, and all the weapons in the Vikings' weapons disappeared.

"Hey! My combat dildo is gone!" Said generic villager #59.

"You'll all get your stuff back later. For now, stop fighting. The movie is about to start." DragonFucker said.

The lights dimmed.

 **"This...is Berk"**

*Convenient totally dramatic chapter end*


	2. Chapter 2

**(Actual AN): It's friday, guess who the fuck is back!**

 **So I was checking my Fanfiction account at 1:00 AM, my soul felt like it was bleeding out of my asshole, and I said, "I'm gonna check up on my story." And I gotta say, when I saw that it had not one, not two, but SEVEN reviews, within the course of two days, I thought to myself, "Wow, I really must have triggered everyone."**

 **So you can imagine my surprise when I found that people liked this parody more than my other actually serious story! Granted, I made that serious story about a year ago, so my writing skill has improved a bit, but still! Not to sound like one of those 500k subs youtubers that upload minecraft lets plays, but thanks for all the support.**

 **Moving onto another topic before we start this story, ToothlessXHiccup is a thing on this website, and it's surprisingly popular.** **For everyone that doesn't know what that is, it's basically Hiccup and Toothless getting romantic. And I don't mean that Toothcup hugs, kisses and cuddles yoai kawaii fluff. I'm talking about Hiccup getting pounded in the butt by a twenty foot dragon.**

 **I'm more of a, "judge not, lest you be judged" kind of guy when it comes to preferences, but you gotta be just a little bit desperate if you're legitimately writing stories about dragon cock, and uploading it for people to see. Anyways, back to the story.**

 **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

* * *

 **"This...is Berk."**

All the Vikings looked around. Where tf did Hiccup's voice come from?

"Oh yea, I forgot to mention, this movie is about Hiccup." DragonFucker said.

"Ha! Useless is an emo weakfag! The movie should be about me! Look at my muscles! I am strong! Please have sex with me Astrid!" Snotlout said, kissing his biceps.

Hiccup curled up into a ball like an emo fuck. Astrid rolled her eyes, and DragonFucker gagged.

 **(Hiccup V.O.)** **This, is Berk. It's twelve days north of hopeless, and a few degrees South of freezing to death. It's located solidly on the meridian of misery. The camera drifts over rolling hills to reveal a small village nestled on an outcropping of sea mounts.**

 **(Hiccup V.O.)** **My village. In a word, sturdy. And it's been here for seven generations, but every single building is new.**

"Yeah, because of the evil dragons!" Some dude in the crowd said. Hiccup glared at them. They weren't evil, they were innocent! Just extremely misunderstood.

 **(Hiccup V.O.)**

 **We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests.**

 **Sheep graze peacefully on a hillside. Suddenly one is snatched.**

 **(Hiccup V.O.)**

 **You see, most places have mice or mosquitos. We have...**

 **CUT TO:**

 **INT. STOICK'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS**

 **A door is pulled open... as a dragon swoops directly toward it, blasting fire. The door is slammed. The fire shoots through the slats of wood, illuminating Hiccup, a gangly teenage Viking.**

DragonFucker squealed. "Ooh, Hiccup is so HOT, I just wanna be his fuckdoll all day!" She said, earning questionable look.

 **HICCUP:** **...dragons.**

 **EXT. STOICK'S HOUSE**

 **He reopens the sizzling door, as leaps off of the front porch. He weaves through the erupting mayhem as Vikings pour out of the buildings, ready for a fight.**

 **Hiccup (v.o.)** **Most people would leave. Not us. We're Vikings. We have, stubbornness issues.**

"Hey, fuck you too, kid!" Someone in the crowd yelled.

"STFU boi, you're bad!" Hiccup shot back.

 **Hiccup (v.o.)** **My name's Hiccup. Great name, I know. But, it's not the worst. Parents believe a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls. Like our charming Viking demeanor wouldn't do that.**

 ** _[Hiccup is seen dodging several Vikings. He trips and a Viking roars in his face.]_**

 **Viking: ARGGGHHHHH! Mornin'!**

 **Hoark** : **What are you doing here?!**

 **Burnthair:** **Get inside!**

 **Viking:** **What are you doin' out?**

 **Phlegma:** **Get back inside!**

All the Vikings that were shown cringed at how they sounded like total twat-flaps.

 **Stoick:**  
 **Hiccup?! What is he doing out aga-?! What are you doing out?! Get inside!**

 **Hiccup (v.o.):** **That's Stoick the Vast. Chief of the tribe. They say that when he was a baby, he popped a dragon's head clean off of its shoulders. Do I believe it? Yes, I do.**

"Lol I actually did do that" Stoick said. Hiccup felt sick, and dry heaved like an inexperienced prostitute giving their first blowjob.

 **Stoick** : **What have we got?**

 **Starkard** : **Gronckles, Nadders, Zipplebacks. Oh, and Hoark saw a Monstrous Nightmare.**

 **Stoick** : **Any Night Furies?**

 **Starkard** : **None so far.**

 **Stoick** : **Good.**

 **Viking: Hoist the torches!**

 ** _[Hiccup runs into a blacksmith shop and puts on an apron]_**

 **Gobber** : **Ah! Nice of you to join the party! I thought you'd been carried off!**

 **Hiccup** : **What, who me? Nah, come on! I'm waaaay too muscular for their taste. They wouldn't know what to do with all...this.**

"Haha, lmao Hiccup's such a scrawnfag! That's why his mother left him! Nobody loves Hiccup, not even his own dad! I'm totally not being out of character right now!" Snotlout said.

Hiccup slumped down and started bawling, but DragonFucker had heard enough. She pulled a frying pan out of her ass, and charged towards Snotlout, bashing the fuck out of him.

After beating the balls out of Snotlout, DragonFucker screamed, in all caps, "SHUT UP, YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!1!"

DragonFucker put the pan away. "Now, let's get back to the movie." She said, as if nothing ever happened.

 **Gobber: Well, they need toothpicks, don't they?**

 **Hiccup (v.o.)** **The meat-head with attitude and interchangeable hands is Gobber.**

"Oi m8! Who are you calling a meathead?" Gobber said.

"You, LOL!" Hiccup answered.

"You wot, you toothpick? You won't 1v1 me irl!" Gobber shouted.

"Quickscope only, on Nuketown!"

Stoick watched on in envy. "I sure wish I had that relationship with Hiccup. Man, I really suck at parenting. Kms." He thought.

 **Hiccup (v.o.)** **I've been his apprentice ever since I was little. Well...** ** _littler_** **.**

Everyone laughed.

"Lol get it? Because he's small!" generic villager #43 said.

 **Stoick: We move to the lower defenses. We'll counter-attack with the catapults.**

 ** _[A Dragon swoops down and sets another house on fire.]_**

 **Hiccup (v.o.) See? Old village, lots and lots of new houses.**

The vikings started shitting themselves with rage. How dare those dragons burn their houses! They worked hard on them!

 **Viking: FIRE!**

 **Astrid:** **Alright, let's go!**

 **Hiccup (v.o.) Oh, and that's Fishlegs, Snotlout, the Twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut, and...*Big, sexy explosion* Astrid…**

Everyone laughed at the obvious crush Hiccup had on Astrid.

"Hey, back off, useless! Astrid is totally mine!" Snotlout exclaimed. Astrid rolled her eyes (Since I only ship HiccupXToothless, and have absolutely no idea how to write Astrid's character, I'm just gonna have her roll her eyes like an edgy cunt).

 **Hiccup (v.o.) Oh, their job is so much cooler.**

 ** _[Hiccup leans out of the smithing window to get a better look. Gobber lifts him up and back into the shop.]_**

 **Hiccup: Oh, come on. Let me out, please? I need to make my mark!**

 **Gobber** : **Oh, you've made** ** _plenty_** **of marks. All in the wrong places! (Insert sexual innuendo here)**

 **Hiccup** : **Please, two minutes. I'll kill a dragon. My life will get infinitely better. I might even get a date.**

Hiccup cringed in disgust at his past self. _"Killing dragons to get a date? Why would I do that when I could just rub my dick off to some dragon porn after this is all over."_ He thought. What an edgy loser, right?

 **Gobber** : **You can't lift a hammer, you can't swing an axe, you can't even throw one of these!**

 ** _[Gobber holds up a bola and a Viking grabs it and uses it to bring down a dragon]_**

 **Hiccup** : **Okay, fine, but this will throw it for me.**

 ** _[Hiccup pats a wooden machine, which opens and shoots a bola randomly, hitting a Viking standing in the background.]_**

 **Viking:** **Arggh!**

"Hey, that hurt!" Said Generic villager #76, the recipient of the trickshot. "Oh my gods, I don't care! You're all dragon murdering savages!" Hiccup shouted, snapping.

"Ye wha?" Stoick said in an over exaggerated accent. "Hiccup, wha is teh meaning of dis!? Dis is an outrage!" Stoick shouted.

"Shut up, you're not my real dad! You neglected me!" Hiccup shot back. He ran across the black and red edgy barrier, and threw himself at the dragons, who accepted him with open (whatever the equivalent of arms are to dragons).

A night fury pounced on Hiccup. Everyone gasped. Hiccup was done for!

The night fury then slapped it's disgusting fuckboy tongue all over Hiccup. "Haha, stop it Toothless, you're making me hard!" Hiccup said.

Everyone gasped again. "Hiccup, wha are ye doin? Get away from teh beasts, before they eat your asshole!" Stoick shouted. He tried to run across the barrier, but smacked into it.

"No! Toothless was a better father than you! I'm gonna go live with dragons for the rest of my life!" Hiccup shouted.

"Guys, calm down! I wanna watch the movie!" DragonFucker said.

Stoick begrudgingly sat back down in his chair.

 **Gobber** : **See, now this right here is what I'm talking about!**

 **Hiccup: Mild calibration issue-**

 **Gobber** : **Don't you- no- Hiccup. If you ever want to get out there to fight dragons, you need to stop all... this.**

 **Hiccup** : **But, you just pointed to** ** _all_** **of me!**

 **Gobber** : **Yes! That's it! Stop being all of you!**

 **Hiccup: Ohhhh...**  
 **Gobber** : **Ohhhh, yes.**  
 **Hiccup** : **You sir, are playing a dangerous game. Keeping this much, raw... Viking-ness... contained? THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES!**

"Haha omg XD useless is so scrawny! I felt the need to reiterate that! I'm just making sure that the reader knows I'm the main antagonist!" Snotlout said.

"STFU Snotbutt! You're stupid!" DragonFucker exclaimed.

 **Gobber** : **I'll take my chances. Sword. Sharpen. Now.**  
 **Hiccup (v.o.)** **One day, I'll get out there. Because, killing a dragon is** ** _everything_** **around here.**

Hiccup cringed again. "I'm sorry dragon friends, this was before I came across Toothless, and discovered my bondage fetish. I'm not like the other boys." he said.

The chief of the hairy butthole tribe could take no more. Stoick stood up, seething, and pointed his massive, meaty fucking finger at Hiccup.

"Hiccup! Yer a traitor, and I disown ye!"

"I don't care! I hate all of you! I wish I was never born!" Hiccup said. He started crying for, like, the fifth time in this story, because we all know Hiccup, according to the movie, is a MASSIVE CRYBABY.

All the dragons huddled around him in a big, gay group hug.

"Hiccup, I banish ye from the village!" Stoick said.

* * *

Meanwhile…

* * *

"Whaaat iiis uuup, DramaAlertNation? I'm the king of gnomes, Killer Keemstar, back from the dead, fuck that last DramaAlert host, he's a pussy, leeeet's geeeet riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight INTO THE NEEEWS!" said Keem.

"Our first story is kinda crazy! A Fanfiction account by the name of 'DragonFucker123' has just reached 2000 favorites on a story called, "Watching the movie", surpassing all the other 400 stories following the same concept. But what makes this story so much different, is the main character, Hiccup, just got banned."

"Also in the news, George Bush is actually a pedophile. He was caught dating a 3 month old girl from France."

"Also in the news, Pyro is a furry, Leafy is a backstabber, I'm definitely not a racist, and I have debunked everyone's accusations, why could I possibly still be getting hate?"

"And for our final story, Alex is a STUPID NI-"

*Back to the movie reaction*

 ** _[The camera pans over various dragons as they are described.]_**

 **Hiccup (v.o.)** **A Nadder head is sure to get me at least noticed. Gronckles are tough. Taking down one of those would** ** _definitely_** **get me a girlfriend. A Zippleback? Exotic. Two heads, twice the status.**

 **Catapult Operator** : **They found the sheep!**  
 **Stoick** : **Concentrate fire over the lower bank!  
Catapult Operator**: **Fire!**  
 **Hiccup (v.o.)** **And then, there's the Monstrous Nightmare. Only the best Vikings go after those. They have this nasty habit of setting themselves on fire.**

Everyone laughed. How come they never saw this comedic, sarcastic side of Hiccup? All they ever saw was an emo edgefag that liked depressing Twenty-One Pilots songs.

 ** _[A Monstrous Nightmare growls and lights itself as it climbs up the catapult]_**

 **Stoick:** **Reload! I'll take care of this.**  
 **Hiccup (v.o.)** **But the ultimate prize is the dragon no one has ever seen. We call it the-**

 **Viking:** **NIGHT FURY! GET DOWN!**

 ** _[From out of nowhere, an explosion tears the catapult's asshole apart]_**

 **Stoick: JUMP!**

The Night Fury felt glee surge through his thick head. He was proud at how people feared him and his quickscoping skills.

 _"Yep."_ Hiccup thought. _"Their definitely just misunderstood, innocent creatures. Humans are evil. I wish I was born a dragon."_

 **Hiccup (v.o.)** **This thing never steals food, never shows itself, and... never misses. No one has ever killed a Night Fury. That's why I'm going to be the first.**

"Haha LOL as if! Useless could never kill a dragon!" Said Snotlout.

DragonFucker smiled. "Well you're right about that." She said.

"Of course I am. It's totally gonna be me! I'm gonna be the first to kill a Night Fury, and then Astrid's gonna be all over my dick!" Said Snotlout.

Astrid rolled her eyes.

 **Gobber** : **Man the fort, Hiccup. They need me out there!**

 ** _[He attaches an axe to his arm and begins to run out, but turns around at the doorway.]_**

 **Gobber (cont.)** **Stay. Put. There. You know what I mean.**

 **As soon as Gobber leaves, Hiccup rolls his contraption out of the forge.**

 **Viking #6:** **Hiccup, where are you going?!  
Viking #7:** **Come back here!**  
 **Hiccup:** **Yeah, I know! Be right back!**

 ** _[Hiccup is pushing a cart with the automated catapult on it]_**

 **Stoick: Mind yourselves! The devils still have some juice in them!**

Hiccup balled his fists up, glaring daggers…no, laser beams at Stoick. "They aren't devils!" He said. "They're thinking, intelligent beings, with feelings!"

"Then why don't they act like it?" asked Generic Villager #32

Hiccup got really angry at what Generic Villager #32 said, so he whipped out his knife, and started slashing at his own wrist like he was trying to saw his fucking hand off.

 ** _[Hiccup sets up his bola catapult on an empty hill and looks around.]_**

 **Hiccup:** **Come on. Gimme something to shoot at, gimme something to shoot at.**

 ** _[The camera pans around the night sky, and catches on a shadow. Hiccup no-scopes, and a loud cry is heard as the shadow is seen plummeting down into a forest]_**

There was a massive silence. And then everyone started cheering as if they'd just found out Nicole Arbour forgot how to open her big Canadian mouth.

"You did it, Hiccup!" "OMG you're a hero!" "You shot down a Night Fury!" "It wasn't that great."

Hiccup heard everyone cheering for him, but he felt like a fat pile of shit because he shot down his dragon, his sex partner…his best friend.

 **Hiccup (cont.)** **Oh, I hit! YES! I HIT! Did anybody see that?**

 ** _[A Monstrous Nightmare shows up and crushes Hiccup's bola launcher.]_**

 **Hiccup (cont.)** **Except for you.**

"Haha XD how are you so funny hiccup?" Generic Villager #91 asked.

"I use my sarcasm a lot. It's how I brush off all the hurtful, mean things people say to me that make me cut myself." Hiccup answered.

 ** _[A shrill cry sounds from the hill, and catches Stoick's attention. He turns to see the Monstrous Nightmare chasing Hiccup, and gets up to go help him.]_**

 _lol another convenient chapter end._


	3. Chapter 3

**_/AN: Hi guys! It's me, DragonXFucker123!_**

 ** _I've got some bad news! I hit a writer's block, and I feel like killing myself, so I'm going to take a nice long break from this website, and go on a walk, or some stupid shit like that._**

 ** _I'm discontinuing this story, but DON'T WORRY! KawaiiNightFury420 is adopting my story! He's going to add such a unique spin on the story that I totally came up with on my own._**

 ** _Anyways, see you all later!_**

* * *

 ** _AN: So, there it is, in all of it's glory! Pretty shit ending, right? But before you sign into your guest account and call me a smelly fag, keep in mind that, first of all, THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL. Second, this story was supposed to represent the majority of watching the movie fanfics (With a "few" fabrications). And in my defense, only like 4% of the stories are actually finished._**

 ** _Also, just know that I was planning on ending this story here, but, how many people actually liked this story, I will continue this story on my account as a new story. It's gonna be called…_**

 ** _"Watching the movie (Adopted)(SPOOF DANK)"_**

 ** _Yeah, I know, I'm as creative as a rock on the side of the road. But I will make this story, though I can't guarantee it will be finished, as it will be WAY longer. And don't worry, it's obviously going to be a spoof._**

 ** _But yeah, my second uploaded story! And my first complete one, though that isn't really anything to celebrate, considering it's less than 5000 words._**

 ** _I hope you all enjoyed reading this about as much as I enjoyed writing it, and try to remember, if you're thinking about writing a comment along the lines of, "Hey, self harm isn't a joke! It's a huge problem!" or,"I ship ToothlessXHiccup, and you just triggered me!", then remember:_**

 ** _This story contains mention of battle dildos, no-scopes, and black and red edgy otaku anime weaboo fangirls. If anyone honestly takes anything from this story seriously, I'm going to quit my writing career. I'll straight up just pack my bags, move to Australia, and become a safari guide._**

 ** _And, one last thing before I sign out:_**

 ** _ITS JUST A PRANK BRO_**


End file.
